She doesn't do relationships. He doesn't give up easily.

Maxine Alvarez, self-proclaimed "Lady Detective" —really, an apprentice to a private investigator— is in the middle of a high-stakes undercover mission, when she unexpectedly meets the one person who might make her break all of her rules.

Lady Detective/RomCom/Murder Mystery - free to read! New chapters out weekly. Subscribe for updates and leave comments if you'd like to influence the story 😀

Chapter 1 

“Maxine, look at me.”

Enrico’s deep, sultry voice sent chills dancing up her spine. She quietly obeyed, looking up at him through her long, dark lashes. His brown eyes sparkled even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the catering hall coat closet. He put a fingertip under her chin and gently lifted her gaze to meet his.

“I’m sorry I was so late. Can you forgive me?” he whispered, his mouth moving ever closer to her own.

Their noses grazed, and she felt her eyes fall closed as she replied, “Maybe.”

She could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “Maybe, huh?”

Her smile turned into a small laugh. “Yeah, maybe I’ll let you make it up to me,” she said, sliding her hands down the front of his crisp white button-down. Enrico groaned as she reached his waistline, his arousal evident in the way he thrust his hips forward. Maxine was reminded of the way he’d moved on the dance floor, whenever she had the pleasure of being on cleaning duty in the ballroom with him after hours.

As marks went, Enrico was probably the hottest one she’d ever had the good fortune of needing to seduce. Well, it was a bit chicken/egg. She never would have gone the seduction route if he hadn’t been so attractive; she did have standards. There were plenty of ways to get a person to reveal their secrets without sex being involved, but it was certainly the fastest and the most fun.

Alas, her time with super-hot Enrico was about to come to a close, and she thought they might as well go out with a bang. Pun(s) very much intended.

The jury was still out on whether she’d need to take it that far, however. 

His pillowy lips met hers, and she sank into him, letting out a little moan herself at the sensations coursing through her body from the way his tongue slowly swirled with hers like choreography.

Ever intent to keep her eyes on the prize, even when they were closed, she pictured the true object of desire: a small black memory card, which currently resided in the back pocket of Enrico’s black dress pants. For good measure, she let her hand meander back there, her finger lightly grazing the edge. It was yet unclear whether she could rely upon her amateur pickpocket skills, or if it would be wiser to remove his dress pants before removing the card.

Just as her fingers had clasped the zip of the pants in question, however, a distant but nearing voice made them both freeze. All events in the hall were currently underway, so the flood of new guests had been staunched, and was likely to remain that way for a good thirty minutes, or so she thought.

“Get down,” Enrico whisper-shouted, moving swiftly over to the Dutch door and opening the top half as if he’d been dutifully waiting there all along. As she knelt behind the closed bottom half, she could tell they’d been just in time, as a woman’s voice with an aristocratic British accent rang out clear as day.

“Well, hello there, handsome! You weren’t here before, were you? No, of course you weren’t; I daresay I would have remembered you.”

Maxine made a silent mock-gag and rolled her eyes while watching Enrico’s legs shift uncomfortably where he stood. Some of the women at these events could put even sleazy construction workers to shame with the way they harassed the young, attractive male workers. Then again, she wasn’t one to judge, given the way that she was currently exploiting her attractive male coworker in a decidedly more nefarious way than the randy older woman on the other side of the door.

“That’s right, I came in a bit late today,” Enrico replied, and without looking at his face, Maxine could hear his plastered-on fake grin.

“Oh, we are a naughty boy, aren’t we?” the woman replied jovially.

The woman went on to explain in far too much detail that she needed to leave early due to her cat being out of surgery unexpectedly early. Maxine picked up a detail or two, like the cat’s full name (Mr. Winslow Worthington) and the location of their veterinarian’s office (half a block from Maxine’s office). Her true focus, however, had gone solely to Enrico’s back pocket.

The chance to get the memory card was one she’d been waiting on for over two weeks, and she mentally kicked herself for overestimating how much time she had. Unfortunately, her baser urges had clouded her better judgment, and she winced as she recalled that this was not the first time.

The woman was chatting Enrico’s ear off, and she could feel her chance slipping away. Even if no other guests interrupted them, it would be difficult to pick right back up where they’d left off after this interruption. Enrico would come to his senses, as he always did when she’d attempted this before.

The woman was going through her bag trying to find the ticket that she’d been given upon checking her coat. From the sound of it, she was zipping and unzipping various inner pockets of a purse, which caused Maxine to be struck with sudden inspiration. Pickpocketing it would be, but with a bit of a twist.

Without hesitation, lest she overthink it and lose her nerve, Maxine brought her fingers back to where they’d been when the woman had so rudely interrupted them, and pulled his zipper down in one swift motion. Enrico let out an involuntary gasp, his whole body tensing as he realized what she was doing. 

The woman, inaccurately reading Enrico’s gasp as admiration of her designer purse, said, “Oh, isn’t the inner lining gorgeous? I get so many compliments!”

Maxine undid his button, causing the pants to slide down ever so slightly, and also causing Enrico to snatch her wrist between his fingers before she could go any further. She still had her other hand free, however, and while he was spouting some nonsense about the quality of the bag’s design, she deftly slid into the pocket of his pants where they were pooling around his mid-thigh, and retrieved the memory card at last. Then, in a move that was difficult but not impossible to accomplish while wearing a button-down, she slid the card through the space between buttons and into her bra. 

“Do you know what? I see my coat right there! The red one! Do be a darling and pass it to me just this once. You won’t get into too much trouble, I expect?”

She watched as Enrico looked over and spotted the coat, miraculously within arm's reach. He retrieved it and handed it over, then wished the woman —and her cat— well before unceremoniously closing the half-door in her face before she could get another word in, then flipping the latch.

“Sorry!” Maxine whispered, covering her mouth as she giggled. “I couldn’t help—ah!” Enrico grabbed her wrist again and pulled her up to standing.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” he said quietly, again bringing his lips to hers. She kissed him back with fervor, surprised that he wasn’t looking to end their encounter as he usually would. Perhaps he could sense that it was going to be their last time, on some subconscious level.

This was, admittedly, a bit of a problem. She had been counting on him to be put off by the interruption so that she could excuse herself and go back to finishing her shift in the back room. That, and not risk the loss of the evidence she’d worked so hard to procure.

However, Maxine was a terrible sucker for sexy banter, and, as previously stated, Enrico was ridiculously hot. It also didn’t help that she’d had few opportunities for physical… release, as of late, and her body was making some very insistent demands of her in that moment.

Pulling back from the kiss, she intended to simply cut it short, like any professional would.

What ended up leaving her mouth instead, however, was, “I’m not so sure, what are you going to do with me?”

Even professionals needed a bit of fun now and again, didn’t they?

Enrico growled by way of reply, kissing her even more forcefully, and backing her into the now-closed door. One of his hands slid into her hair, his thumb grazing the side of her cheek as he sucked and nibbled on her bottom lip; her favorite thing.

She was so enraptured by what he was doing that she almost didn’t register the fact that his other hand had begun busily unbuttoning her shirt, his fingers drawing dangerously close to the exact spot where the memory card was sticking out of her bra.

She was quickly saved, however, when a pair of voices beyond the door grew suddenly loud, and someone jiggled the handle.

“He was just there! Where could he have gone?”

“Sorry, Ma’am,” said David, the owner of the catering hall, as a set of keys jingled. “No worries, we’ll find your coat.”

“I’m dreadfully sorry, I could have sworn this was my coat!”

“That’s why we use the number system, Ma’am, you just never can be sure.”

She and Enrico had just finished speed-dressing, and she had slid between some larger coats in the back of the closet to hide before Enrico pulled open the top half of the door.

“Hey, boss!” he said, and Maxine had to bite down on her fist to keep from laughing at Enrico’s horrific attempt at a casual tone. She would take the heat for him once the guest was gone, she’d put him in this situation, and she’d get him out of it.

Of course, he would likely be implicated in a major crime once she got the evidence currently tucked against her right boob back to her boss, so perhaps it didn’t matter. Getting fired, however, would be an even easier exit for her than finishing out her shift before disappearing.

“Rico, what in the world were you doing in—” David began in a severe whisper before cutting himself off. Peering through the coats, Maxine followed his eyeline to… her shoes.

Damn it, she thought, why did she choose today to wear her glittery black Converse?

Recovering quickly, David turned back to the guest who, as luck would have it, had just found the ticket for her coat.

“Wouldn’t you know, it’s always in the last place one looks!”

“Yes, imagine that,” David said through gritted teeth as he handed the ticket to Enrico without even looking at him. David then passed the correct coat to the woman, and he and Enrico waved as she finally departed to pick up her cat.

The moment she was out of earshot, David rounded on them as Maxine stepped out of the coats.

“Are you two for real?” he said, voice shaking with barely contained rage. “I’ve got two-hundred guests between the three rooms today, and you’re fucking around amongst their collective coats?”

If he was able to shout without alarming the guests, Maxine imagined it would be a piercing sound. David wasn’t the most formidable man, which made it all the more intriguing that he was heading up an international money-laundering scheme that likely had ties with the Mexican cartel. Somehow, she just couldn’t imagine this balding, bespectacled man in meetings with guys who could probably snap him in two with one hand.

“We weren’t fucking yet,” Enrico said, and Maxine had to suppress a scoff. He was hot, but not the brightest coat in the closet.

“David,” she said, stepping forward and holding up a hand, “this is my fault, I’m the one who came in here and cornered Enrico. If you’re gonna fire anyone, fire me.”

David merely stared back at her for a few beats before turning to Enrico. “Really?”

“I— mean… that’s what she said, I guess.”

Wow. It was almost impressive how bad he was at covering his ass; it was a wonder that David had entrusted him with the transportation of such important information.

Maxine looked over at the employee coat section, quickly spotting her three-seasons-ago Michael Kors jacket from Saks Off Fifth and grabbing it up.

“It’s true, David, I’m… kind of a freak, to be honest. Don’t ask what we’ve gotten up to in the walk-in freezer.”

“The… what?!” David cried, while Enrico merely smiled and laughed dreamily to himself. He was clearly remembering their chilly interlude from her first night, which had begun with some crass commentary about hard nipples, and escalated from there.

Maxine estimated that without seduction, this job would have lasted two months at minimum. She simply could not wait to see the look on Brooks’ face when she came back with what they needed so far ahead of schedule.

To that end, she stepped forward and said, “I’ll go now, and forget about my pay from earlier this week, okay? Consider it an apology.”

David seemed stuck, frozen in contemplation of her words and unable to formulate any of his own. When she walked past Enrico, however, he spun around. 

“Wait! I don’t even have your number!”

That was true, and she wanted to keep it that way.

She’d made the mistake of allowing someone to get too attached on her first job, and even after he had found out that she’d been undercover, spying, he’d continued to call and even show up at her apartment. No good. Never again. Particularly because she loved her roommates dearly, and they would have the rights to kick her out if it ever happened again.

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll guess it!” she called back. By the time Enrico would even process her words, she was already out the door.

𓂃🖊

Miles couldn’t see; his vision was completely blocked by four large vans, each belonging to a different floral company. Checking the map for the millionth time, he confirmed that this was indeed where he was supposed to pick up “Henrietta W.”

Upon asking one of the floral assistants, he was told that the flower deliveries were for evening events, but that there were currently a few daytime parties going on. Perhaps his guest was leaving early, because there wasn’t the usual flood of people he was accustomed to seeing when called to an event space like this. There was only an elderly British woman speaking to one of the florists, but she seemed intent on giving her cat’s entire medical history to the poor guy, and was in no way indicating that she had called for an Uber.

He squinted, trying to see through the windows of one of the vans, and saw someone stepping out of the front door. She rounded the corner of the van, and he saw her white button-down and black bowtie. A worker leaving early, that must be it. Then, he scrunched up his face in confusion, because this girl was way too hot to be a “Henrietta.” Maybe she went by a nickname. Hennie, perhaps? Or, Etta? 

Just as he’d decided that the simpler answer was the most obvious —she must not be his passenger— she made eye contact with him and smiled. He glanced in his rearview mirror just to confirm there were no cars behind him. Once confirmed, he opened his door and stepped out.

“Uber?” he called.

Then, he watched as she seemed to hesitate for a moment, staring back at the older woman who was still talking the absolute ear off of the floral assistant. In the distance, over by the door to the hall, two men emerged. Both of them looked like catering staff, though the older bald one with glasses had on more of a tuxedo. A manager, maybe? They were both looking around at the floral vans, taking in the scene and talking quietly to one another. 

His would-be passenger then spun back around with a wide smile and said, “Yep!” before sprinting to his car, wrenching the door open, and practically diving inside.

The two men looked his way when the door slammed shut, and began to slowly walk in his direction.

“Come on, let’s go! Chop chop, Uber guy!” the girl cried from where she was now lying in his back seat.

He climbed in and shut the door before turning to look at her with a quizzical expression.

“Henrietta W?”

“Yes! I urgently need to get to my cat, now go!” she cried.

Glancing at his mounted phone, he confirmed the pickup and indeed saw that the destination was a Veterinary Clinic, a few towns over. It was an area he knew well, which was a relief; he wouldn’t have to constantly look at the GPS.

“Uh, could you please put a seatbelt on?” he said, just as the two men were rounding the front of the floral van.

“Oh my god, drive!!”

Miles had had a lot of strange rides in his time, but this was already shaping up to be the strangest. Normally, he would have insisted on safety, but from the looks of the guys making their way over to the car, this girl was in some kind of trouble. Protective instinct kicking in, he stepped on the gas and sped around the other flower vans, and out to the main road as fast as his 2005 Honda Civic would take them.

Much to his relief, once they were out of the parking lot, he didn’t even need to ask for her to sit upright and get her seatbelt on. She chose to sit directly behind him, though, which always felt odd. Not that he was going to turn around and look at her while driving, but it always felt better to have the passenger in his peripheral vision at least. 

He adjusted his mirror and tried to sneak a glance at her, only to find her staring directly back at him.

“Yes, nosy? Can I help you?” she said, in a thankfully playful tone.

He laughed, mostly to himself, and said, “Sorry, I was just thinking… You don’t look like a Henrietta.”

Maybe it was just him, but the playful energy he’d felt just a moment ago seemed to have been snuffed out the instant the words left his mouth.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shot back.

“Nothing, sorry. So sorry,” he said, instantly imagining the one-star rating his idiotic comment probably just earned him. He needed to learn to keep his mouth shut, he could not afford to lose another point. Alas, this would be yet another day in which that lesson went unlearned. Instead of shutting his mouth, he doubled down and made it even worse.

“It’s just, when I saw you I thought… she’s way too hot to be a Henrietta.”

He glanced in the mirror, inwardly cringing at his lack of impulse control, and expected to see a scowl there. 

Miraculously, however, he saw a bright grin.

“Wow, do you always hit on your customers?”

Laughing, he said, “I’m not hitting on you, I’m just saying!”

“Oh yeah, you’re just saying. That’s some solid plausible deniability you got there, bud.”

“Thank you,” he said in a would-be-charming tone, feeling his whole body relax as the energy shifted once more to light and playful.

They pulled onto the highway, and he noticed that his phone was frozen again; it was still saying his passenger was back at the hall. That happened sometimes, and he would probably need to restart it. Suddenly, the way he’d been bragging about still “rockin an iPhone 10” to some friends the night before felt wildly lame. He shook his head, then clicked the screen shut, confident enough in where he was going not to need it.

There was an abrupt click, and a woosh as she shifted to sit in the other seat, ostensibly to see him better. Chancing a glance back at her, he saw that she was leaning forward with an elbow on her knee, gazing at him.

“What?” he said, shifting his eyes quickly back to the road and stopping at a red light.

“Sorry, I was just thinking… You don’t look like a… wait, what’s your name?”

“It should be right there on your app,” he said, then did a double take when his screen lit back up with a call coming in from a random number. Miles never got calls from unknown numbers, he was meticulous about getting himself on every “do not call” list available because he couldn’t stand getting telemarketing calls and thinking they were customers.

Regardless, he hit the answer button, and instantly, a loud voice with a British accent began blaring through the car speakers.

“Hello, Uber? Yes, this is Henrietta Worth—”

But that was all he heard, because an errant hand, one that did not belong to Miles, had thrust itself forward and pressed the end call button.

“What the hell?” he snapped, glaring back at her.

“Green light!” she replied.

“What?”

“Drive!” 

Miles turned forward once again, and indeed saw that he was stopping traffic. He slammed his foot on the gas pedal, hands gripping the wheel tightly as he realized what had happened.

“Okay, don’t be mad,” he heard her say, but all he was focused on was finding somewhere to turn around. He had to get back to the hall to pick up the actual Henrietta W, who was, indeed, just some old lady.

“Look, whoever you are,” he interjected before she could continue whatever weak diatribe she had planned to try and explain her way out of this, “this is my only job, and it’s not cool that you probably just fucked my star rating with this customer.”

“Wait, I can explain!” she said, just as he pulled the mother of all U-turns at an intersection that didn’t specifically allow for such a thing. His passenger was flung unceremoniously to one side of the car, and let out a scream to go with it.

“I said seatbelt, remember?!” he yelled back, uninterested in hearing her explanation.

“Wait, please. Please, please, please don’t go back to the hall, those guys are looking for me!”

“Oh yeah, what did you do? Lie to them? Take what wasn’t yours?”

When she went quiet, he looked back to see that she was biting her lip in contemplation.

“With a scoff, he turned forward and said, “Dude, I don’t know who you are, but I can’t afford to have a thief or whatever in my car. You gotta go.”

With that, he pulled over on the side of the highway and hit the button to unlock all doors.

“You’re just gonna leave me on the side of Route 36?!”

“What? It’s walkable.”

“Uh, yeah, for people with a death wish!”

His phone rang again, and he managed to both answer it and catch the girl’s hand before she could end the call on his behalf. With one hand holding each of her wrists, Miles said, “Yes, hello, Henrietta?”

“Oh, hey man,” a male voice said, and he felt the girl’s body go rigid. Upon inspection, her otherwise very tanned skin went kind of pale. “Yeah, I got Ms. Henrietta here, she was waiting for you, and I think you left without her?”

Miles felt his expression soften when he took in the wide, terrified eyes that gazed into his. He then remembered his instinctual reaction outside of the hall. This girl was in trouble, that was for certain, but he needed to find out what kind.

Making a snap decision to buy himself some time, he said, “Oh, yeah, sorry man… I’m on my way back now. Almost there!” Then, he hung up the call before further questions could be asked.

The girl let out a deep sigh and said, “Thank you.”

At that, he released her wrists in a none-too-gentle way and turned to face her.

“Okay, look, one of three things is gonna happen right now. You’re either gonna tell me exactly what’s going on, or get out of my car, OR take the ride back to the catering hall. You pick.”

“Okay! I’ll tell you everything, I promise, but first… can you cancel that ride because I really need to be somewhere and there were literally no other Ubers in this area, I looked! Please!”

Miles had to look away, because the puppy dog eyes she was throwing at him were doing odd things to his gut. She had long, dark eyelashes, and she was batting them at him something fierce.

Releasing a long-suffering sigh, he said, “What’s in it for me?”

At this, she got a contemplative look, then began rifling through her bag. Eventually, she withdrew something that made his eyes bug right out of his head.

“How about $500?”

Miles blinked back at her, and for a few moments was unable to say anything.

When he did eventually speak, he said, “You’re gonna give me $500? For… for driving you to Matawan?”

“Nodding, she said, “I am going to give you $500 for driving me to Matawan.”

“Daaamn girl, how much trouble are you in?”

“But only if you do it right now; this offer expires in three… two—”

Miles snatched the cash out of her hand, and grabbed his phone to type out a bullshit message for Henrietta W. before canceling her ride.

---
author's note: hello! thanks so much for reading. seriously. i have been through a whole lot over the past few months, and I ended up scrapping what I previously wrote and starting fresh. the mojo is back now, and it's stronger than it was before. i expect to post another chapter within the next week, but it's feeling pretty insistent to be written, so maybe in just a day or two, who knows. thank goodness!

please leave a comment here! even one comment will cause me to churn out thousands of new words in an instant. your time and attention are appreciated to an extent that you cannot possibly imagine <3